Since I was laid off from my job, my entire routine has become amazingly… different. It’s only natural, since it’s been nearly four months now, but it’s still awkward to me. This time in the morning I used to be trying to rush into getting ready for work while balancing a baby – trying to make sure he’s sleeping until I’m ready, which rarely ever worked, and then making sure I still have enough time to give him a good breakfast, play a bit and get him ready to go to the baby sitter’s house. I much rather prefer this way.
This morning I’m awake because the baby didn’t want to go back into his crib, so it took some doing to get him back to sleep. Once I’m awake for so long, I just can’t go back to sleep. Luckily, today it was at 6am and not earlier. I never did understand why my mom had so much trouble with sleep after my sister was born. Oh boy, now I do.
The gentle sound of the train whistle in the distance takes me back to another life, and then another. I used to be so frustrated when I was stuck at the tracks because that meant I would be at least late to work. And before that, when I was a student, it was the most peaceful, soothing sound to hear breaking through the dark of night. I used to stay awake just to hear midnight trains. Now I’m lucky if I can stay awake until 9pm!
It’s funny how things change. We are coming up on our second wedding anniversary, and it’s amazing how much we have changed in those two years. It seemed like such small changes while we were going through them, but looking back it’s just astounding to realize how much we have really grown – together and up. We are much more like a sturdy tree now than flailing seedlings side by side. Together, intertwined, we are reaching for the sky with our fruit protected beneath our leaves.
And I wax poetic in the dark of morning.
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