‘Tis the night before Thanksgiving, and all through the house
My boys are both sleeping, but there is no mouse.
The turkey is brining in the fridge with care,
In the hopes that good eats soon will be here.
The dog is nestled all snug in her bed,
While dreams of table scraps dance in her head.
With Dad on the couch and me at the table,
We are settled in for a re-run of Restaurant Impossible.
When out in the kitchen there arises such a clatter,
I jump from the chair to see what is the matter.
Away to the linoleum I fly in a flash,
I tear open the oven and dodge to the trash.
The magical door light turns on to show
The goodies stashed on the fridge shelves below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But an Ensure bottle with arms and eight tiny reindeer.
I stutter and blink my eyes in confusion,
While checking my head for evidence of contusion.
For, if I’m not mistaken, I’m seeing
In the midst of my prepped food a small being.
My anger builds in response to the threat
A contamination to my food I’ve not yet met.
As I draw out my head and turn around,
Out the curmudgeon leaps with a bound.
He is chubby and plump, a jolly old elf,
And I cross myself thrice in spite of myself.
He walks with a swagger and nods his head,
And I suddenly fill with dread.
There are only two ways for this to end —
And not enough time for me to amend.
Either the food is gone before the morning,
Or everyone suffers from food poisoning.
In the throes of this dawning terror I hear
His tiny maniacal laughter far too near.
Suddenly my arm it is shaking
I feel myself slowly awakening.
My husband is laughing, loud and brash,
He stops me from throwing the food in the trash.
Assuring me it is only a nightmare,
He rearranges the food with care.
Taking his good mood in stride,
Assuming he has no meddling to hide,
I assign him “Official Taste Tester”
Hopefully he wakes without fester…
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